As I reflect back on the first year of Rekha's life I get extremely emotional thinking about what an amazing journey this has been. She is just one years old, but I think the profound effect she has had on my existence is way beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Not only has she made me a better person, instilled years of patience in my restless soul but she has also forced me to appreciate the beauty in the smallest things as she finds joy in plugs, menus, table clothes. I have a new found love for life and a new found reason to not be careless. I want to be there when my baby goes to kindergarten, graduates highschool, college, gets married. There is SO much to look forward too. As I think of all the things that are to come, I can't help but get emotional. Infact, motherhood has brought on new tear buds like you wouldnt believe. I cry at everything. I cry at my clients weddings. (ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY). I cry watching Oprah. I cry when people tell me sad stories. I CANT stand to see any object be hurt no matter how ugly or gross. I have turned into this extremely emotional loving person. I want to hug and kiss everyone. What the heck is happening?
My uncle used to always call me a bird because you couldnt catch me and I was constantly running from one place to another. All that has changed as I have slowed down. I dont honk in traffic or haphazardly cross lanes. I don't curse at slow drivers. I take my time, sometimes I am late but you know what, its all okay. Rekha has taught me its okay.
She is something so precious in my life, I am starting to become fearful of things that could possibly go wrong. I have never feared anything in my life but now I find myself constantly scooping my surrounding for predators, every night I get on my hands and knees and sweep the floor making sure there is nothing she could possibly put into her mouth. She is just so precious, sometimes I am afraid to stop looking at her because she may be gone in a blink. Anish and I will stare at her thinking "Wow, is she really ours? and how could we possibly make something so beautiful".
And ohh how much has our life changed. I wake up at 6 and go to bed after midnight. There are bottles to boil, baby lunch and dinner to make, clothes to wash, trash to dispose of, diaper bags to pack, toys to pick up, floors to mop, carpets to clean. I have to feed her, bathe her, prepare bottles, arrange her clothes, entertain her, take her to all sorts of programs to increase baby motor skills. I have a little person next to me that wants to cuddle when I am feverishly working to meet client deadlines. For a while she had bad reflux and colic and she cried and spit up a lot, but I never got frustrated I never complained. I never get annoyed and I NEVER let her know "Mommy is too busy to read "Goodnight Gorrilla". This is the least I can do for someone who has changed my life so much.
Somewhere early in Rekha's life I decided to quit my job at HP. It was a very tough decision to make and not one day do I regret it. We had a lot of options, Nannies, Daycare, My mom offered to quit her job. But I decided early on that I want to raise my own child. I want to be the main influence my baby has on who she is in life. I can be blamed if she decides to be a bum, but I know my baby is going to do something great.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, I disagree. I think it takes 6 siblings who have nothing better to do than come over and hang out. I can not even begin to Thank my siblings. Rekha's eyes light up when she sees them and frankly I can not think of anyone else that makes her so happy. The support and love they have shared is just empowering. Rekha really is the luckiest girl. I can not imagine a baby having more love and support than she does. I know if something were to happen to Anish or I, my siblings would be there in a heartbeat to take care of Rekha and that is the best gift of assurance I could ever have.
Every few weeks Anish and I will reflect back and grade ourselves on how we are raising Rekha. We will be in the car or having dinner and we will ask ourselves "How do you think we are doing so far? Have we done well?" and so far all we have given ourselves is A's. (Good job Anish :))
So cheers to my baby as she turns one! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I am sooo excited for your life. All the places you will go, the things you will see, the journeys you will have. I just can't wait and I am so happy to be apart of it. Anish and I promise we will do everything in our power to make sure you have an extremely joyful and wonderful life. I love you so much. Mum Mum.
1 comment:
Congrats !!!
Belated birthday wishes to your sweet angel :)
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